Healing After Loss - Postpartum Edition

A trigger warning: this post contains guidance about loss

Hello friends,

Often times I share all of the joys and excitement around postpartum. But in this life there is so much in BETWEEN and sometimes we are left with loss and pain. As a doula for over 12 years, I have walked beside mothers every single day that have experienced loss of their babies. If you have lost your baby, you need just as much healing. Mothers are often rushed into using the parts of their brain that require decision making and problem solving all too soon. This creates so much friction and even more pain. If I can encourage to do one thing you more than anything, please give yourself time to heal, nourish and cocoon. These tender six weeks after loss are vital to your mind and body. Ask friends and family to pick up the decision making and allow you to have the space to heal and rest.

Here are a few tips to guide you as you heal. I will share that if you are a partner or friend/family member of a momma that has experienced loss, please facilitate this care as much as you can -  mothers need this healing!

🍂Plan for healing - healing during this tender time can look like herbal foot baths including lavender and sitz baths including calendula. Scheduling body work like ACUPUNCTURE and massages are powerful because the body often times needs to work out trauma through touch.

🍂Plan for nourishment - warm healing foods will support your tender body while soothing the anxious mind. Place cold foods aside during this time and look to nourishing your body as it heals. This can look like six weeks of nourishing soups and stews.

🍂Plan for cocooning - create a healing space with breathable wool blankets for comfort and low lighting to ease the heart. Fresh flowers are healing and keeping a warm heat blanket on can relax the body. If you honor the mind and body by creating a gentle cocoon, you will see such a difference. Sometimes mommas benefit from partner’s shifting the furniture, adding new scents and opening the windows for new energy daily.

🍁A few additional ways to create more healing:

🍂Share your feelings, fears and joys with a trusted friend - the key here is a trusted friend. Give yourself ample time to open up as you choose. There really is no need to rush this process and every person will feel differently as to what is comfortable to share. This can also look like hiring a professional to guide you along the way of processing.

🍂Write a letter daily to your baby and use their name - again, this might take you more time and that is okay. Allow your heart to take control here and share what feels comfortable. This journal is for you and often times mommas feel the most safe to share their birth story, dreams and fears in this space.

🍂Release the guilt of doing things you once enjoyed - taking a walk, taking a simple pottery class, donating breastmilk to a local bank might be the small steps to create purpose and joy in your heart through the grief. It will take time! Create a simple matra like “i am worthy of this peace and joy” can set the intention to allow space to enjoy.

🍂Create a space for rest and take the time to quiet your mind - making a cozy cocoon of peace is so important. This might call for purchasing a few new blankets and pillows, setting the room TEMPERATURE a little cooler so you can bundle up and using a sound machine to soothe. Give yourself this space for quiet which excludes social media - turn off that phone if you can.

Feel free to reach out to me if you need additional support - postpartum doulas are trained and passionate about supporting mothers through their journey of healing no matter the season they are in.

This is how we heal

Your healing matters

You matter 🤍

Holding mommas,

ML 🥹✨🤍🧺